Tell me now,
Can you not hear me my voice?
Have you retreated too far beyond that what I now scream falls upon the dead ears of who doesn’t want to hear?
My please and screams don’t matter anymore.
Never truly mattered.
Because she still doesn’t understand what I’m screaming for.
Once it was that door that she always kept closed upon herself,
Keeping away how she felt and things that made her a better known human since her entire life had been so damaged.
Now all I seem to get is how fucked up I am to her,
Making her hate her life and choices,
Things she could change if she cared enough to admit,
“I was wrong”.
So much energy through my screams,
Constantly trying to see what she sees
and accept the fault of my own device
but every way I turn,
I just see that ever-growing hole that she’s made a permanent home,
Putting in light fixture and new tile,
Preparing for the ling haul away from my pleas of getting into her head.
Of all the things she’s said,
Nothing hurt more then,
“you could have been dead”.
But man she showed me that I always exert this energy,
Even from the womb,
Forcing her to lay down and continue my creation,
Carry for 9 months and even keep me with the inclination that I’ll be amazing someday.
She swears this large baby,
Called APPLEHEAD,
Would do some serious things in the world when the time was right.
But only because me,
The baby,
Asked to be here and forced the hand that made that womens choice to let live or die,
That little peanut she held inside.
But 18 years and sad story goes on to say that nothing earth shattering has came to this day to make that silly little lady want to continue the roulette game of her APPLEHEAD.
Just tit for tat,
Looked down at,
And walked over.
No help and no hinder.
That child of hers does her no good but then she remembers she raised her.
And that leads to another mistake,
Hurtful forget me not phrase.
“I could have abandoned you”.
But to her,
Sisters house, money, and logic means that lady raised all without help of hand.
But another silly goose she is proven to be,
Lady began to slip and slide and let things get in the way of what she acted like she wanted to say.
And when time was right,
Things fucked up and ruined,
She slipped away and decided to live again.
And she “could” have abandoned?
That she truly did. But truth be told,
It might have been the bet move she ever did.
For APPLEHEAD wanted big things and she did nothing to help,
Just kept her in.
So 18 years pass and my voice turns hoarse,
Cant keep screaming for her to hear me.
Cant always cry when she doesn’t see me.
And begging and pleading makes me unhappy.
So screams turn to my silence,Knowing she’s retreated too far to remember me as more than the old school things that once made her my mommie.
Can you not hear me my voice?
Have you retreated too far beyond that what I now scream falls upon the dead ears of who doesn’t want to hear?
My please and screams don’t matter anymore.
Never truly mattered.
Because she still doesn’t understand what I’m screaming for.
Once it was that door that she always kept closed upon herself,
Keeping away how she felt and things that made her a better known human since her entire life had been so damaged.
Now all I seem to get is how fucked up I am to her,
Making her hate her life and choices,
Things she could change if she cared enough to admit,
“I was wrong”.
So much energy through my screams,
Constantly trying to see what she sees
and accept the fault of my own device
but every way I turn,
I just see that ever-growing hole that she’s made a permanent home,
Putting in light fixture and new tile,
Preparing for the ling haul away from my pleas of getting into her head.
Of all the things she’s said,
Nothing hurt more then,
“you could have been dead”.
But man she showed me that I always exert this energy,
Even from the womb,
Forcing her to lay down and continue my creation,
Carry for 9 months and even keep me with the inclination that I’ll be amazing someday.
She swears this large baby,
Called APPLEHEAD,
Would do some serious things in the world when the time was right.
But only because me,
The baby,
Asked to be here and forced the hand that made that womens choice to let live or die,
That little peanut she held inside.
But 18 years and sad story goes on to say that nothing earth shattering has came to this day to make that silly little lady want to continue the roulette game of her APPLEHEAD.
Just tit for tat,
Looked down at,
And walked over.
No help and no hinder.
That child of hers does her no good but then she remembers she raised her.
And that leads to another mistake,
Hurtful forget me not phrase.
“I could have abandoned you”.
But to her,
Sisters house, money, and logic means that lady raised all without help of hand.
But another silly goose she is proven to be,
Lady began to slip and slide and let things get in the way of what she acted like she wanted to say.
And when time was right,
Things fucked up and ruined,
She slipped away and decided to live again.
And she “could” have abandoned?
That she truly did. But truth be told,
It might have been the bet move she ever did.
For APPLEHEAD wanted big things and she did nothing to help,
Just kept her in.
So 18 years pass and my voice turns hoarse,
Cant keep screaming for her to hear me.
Cant always cry when she doesn’t see me.
And begging and pleading makes me unhappy.
So screams turn to my silence,Knowing she’s retreated too far to remember me as more than the old school things that once made her my mommie.
