Role Reverse

No commitment.

No strings attached.

No ring on my left finger,

And for damn sure no arm around my neck.

I refuse to accept that same mediocre treatment,

the same wondering eyes && sly smiles that you hide behind with a wink && a nod,

most likley feeling secure in my lust for you.

You must be holding fast to the fleeting thought that I could beocme distracted from your smooth silky words && sugar coated actions.

It would give me just too much of the sweetest satisfaction to burst your bubble && allow you to flounder,

attempting to regain enough composure to somehow secure me to your arm once again.

Keep playing yourself from within because you truly hold nothing more than my sexual attraction to the rock hard muscle beneath your shirt && the deep lust filled loving I get whenever you respond to my beck && call.

I'm sure you've heard it all && thats why you seem to not see me clearly.

too many times someone had told you what you wanted to hear,

crooning sex lust in your ear,

making sure you felt like one of the greatest.

Now your surprised && dont know what this different taste is.

Not commitment,

cant be no strings.

this is my show now && i say what you get from me.

I demand something new,

different from the rest.

Your gonna appreciate me,

see me clearly,

and give me the best.

Lust after me && croon in my ear all those sexy sweet nothings that you love to hear.

Now the sides have changed for me where you open the door && ask my opinion on what we will do,

truth be told,

I've clearly captured you.

But now that your here,

in my grasp,

I drop the strings from around your wrists && leave.

BReaKDoWN

i JuST WaNT To SaY THaT PReSCRiPTioN MeDS aRe DRuGS Too...

The tears that have been in the back of her eyes suddenly pour out over her lids.
the thoughts that had been running in her head finally reach her mouth that longs for his kiss.
Her random moments of longing reveal themselves at last.
but does this help her in the middle of her breakdown?
her hands reaches up to her head and wraps themselves around the hair that she worked so had to keep healthy and beautiful.
her feet buckle under the weight that is the thoughts of all pain and injustice.
her kids run and hide from the obscene words that make her feel as if he feels the pain that she does.
but does any of this help her in the middle of her breakdown?
her screams that pierce the air find their way out of the house and into the streets of the hard world that has made her the way that she is.
the fists banging on the door that makes the kids look out of the windows and wonder if they should find better hiding places.
the urgent voice of a neighbor that pulls the eldest with long pretty braids and shells of the native lands to open the door.
the cries of a child left alone too long and partially forgotten jolts sympathy and confusion through the faces of the on-lookers.
and then the sirens that alarm the women into thinking the worst, not for for her children, but only for herself.
But does all of this help her in the middle of her breakdown?
Only if you have seen it could you truly know.

SToRY TiME

THIS IS A STORY. YOU GOTTA READ EM BOTH TO UNDERSTAND THE OUTCOME. IF YOU DONT GET IT, JUST ASK ME BOUT IT. ALTHOUGH ITS REALLY SIMPLE. LOL

Mama

No mama.
I don’t want to go.
Smiles of a pretty young girl imprinted to Mama’s mind.
Across the country,
The old pictures sit on the walls,
Plaguing Mama’s mind.
Abandonment at 5,
But to the eyes,
You’d think she was 9.
But Mama had to go,
Baby must stay.
Granny kept her and she was sad.
Mama left, no fear in her eyes.
Granny said it was just pride.
Baby screamed for Mama,
But to her surprise,
Mama had to keep going.
Baby cried until her little brown eyes disappeared,
Just like Mama did.

Forever, Maybe

Baby steps off the plane,
And looks around.
Baby brown eyes drinks in the place,
Many accents pulsing through her ears.
So she smiles wide across her face.
Baby goes to find her ride.
She’s too excited,
Ready to burst inside.
When she began to look around,
Baby jumped but had to calm down.
There was momma,
Pleased to see,
Her dear little Baby,
Just as grown as can be.
She smiled and looked at her eyes.
She looked at her and looked aside.
She knew that look all too well.
It was the reason that she had fled.
Her fathers smile, eyes and height,
Baby looked mighty sure nice.
But momma surly wanted to die.
She hadn’t seen those beautiful brown eyes.
Baby was just so grown now
And momma hadn’t seen her through it.
But why hadn’t she?
Because she went after Baby’s brown eyes,
But the other owner didn’t like her surprise.
So he fled to a whole other state.
And he left her behind.
But she aint wait.
She went after him and left Baby.
But Baby’s here now,
Forever, maybe.

Ruins

My body aches,
My voice shakes.
My thoughts are twisted,
My pain aint lifted.
My scars are open
And my wounds are burning.
But that still don’t stop my head from churning.
What has happened?
Who has ran?
Am I okay?
Can I even stand?
My clothes are gone,
My spirit broken.
My head is spinnin,
My thoughts are hopin.
I hear the voice,
And start to move,
Then I think,
“Are these real wounds?”

Like Always

And when that long awaited call comes through and the conversation hits a sour note, u wonder y u was waiting all day for it.
As if the fact that u were waiting for it made it a bad conversation.
And the aggravation of waiting for the call and frustration of it only being a call and not a moment together makes the tension high,
U more irritable.
And when u end the conversation before u really want to because of this mounted emotional state that you’re in,
U look at the phone as if it were it’s fault,
As if it had lost service or hung up on its own.
And then u thinks,
He’ll call back,
They always do.
And u sit here for a few minutes,
Glancing at the clock until a good 5 minutes pass and u realize that he truly is different because he hasn’t called back.
And he isn’t going to.
But u too damn proud to call urself and tell him wat really made u hang up the phone or maybe just a lie that will look better then the truth.
And then once again ur lost in ur own thoughts of this same boy,
The one that makes ur emotions act all at once and ruins something before it really gets started.
And those thoughts are the reason that u end up feeling like u are going to push away something that can be good and accept something that u kno is bad.
Like u always do.

Final Goodbyes

His voice dropped down low,
A little above a mouse whisper.
My head turned slow,
My heart began to quiver.
His eyes turned to the sky,
Blazing red hot.
He looks at me,
And I’m stuck to the spot.
He slowly walks,
Left hand in right.
If I didn’t know any better,
I’d say he was bout to fight.
He gets to me,
And lifts a brow.
My bodies trembling,
Shaking now.
I look to him
And want to scream.
It’s all playing out,
As if it were a dream.
He reaches out to touch me,
And I close my eyes.
He leans forward to kiss me,
Our final goodbyes.

Drip Drip

The long gash through her honey brown skin.
The silver razor beside her,
Easily found in the house,
Given carelessly as if it were a new toy.
She sits alone,
In her own corner,
Scared of life.
She catches her own tears as they fall and wonders,
Why she had to be the one,
Why she had to be the one that people didn’t care about?
She lets her long chocolate brown hair fall around her face,
Full of despair.
She smiles a cynical smile full of fears,
Eyes still full of tears.
And then she whispers to herself,
“I just hate the life you have dealt”
So instead of continuing through her days,
She takes her life,
As her two parents,
Women and wife,
Sit beside and watch.

Change

Slowly choking back the tears as the image of my fears materialize in front of my eyes as you begin to walk away from me.
Just to see the hurt and pain in your eyes,
Watching as the corners of your mouth dip even lower,
No longer a warm smile but only a hurtful sneer.
And as you being to come near,
You close your eyes, bite your lip, shake your head, and once again disappear.
The soft curls of your hair flake away as your honey brown skin leaves my view,
The pain invading my senses but my body knows that it’s not new.
All I ever wanted was you.
In this life I held your hand,
Fingers intertwined through mine,
Arms so close together that I could feel the tickle of your arm hair,
The tingle spreading a smile across my lips,
Something you will hopefully miss.
But once again,
That has all gone away.
But what the hell do you want me to say?
Yes I love you and that will never change.
But this continuous game is something you and I can’t seem to get.
Maybe because it wasn’t me and you
But you and her.
All because you thought I wasn’t there.
But you just weren’t being fair!!
Life is a game and for me to win,
I can’t fully stay the same.
I do gotta change.
But now you’ve gone too.
Leaving no constant of me and you.
Cuz life truly does change,
Leaving no constant of me and you.

Needing You

I just want you to move me to your side so to hide from all eyes that search me out to ask about the relationship you and I have created without really having dated as a couple.

Just to sit and await your touch that means so much to my simplistic life of awaited encounters to bind my soul to nothing I can hold from sheer fact that I can’t keep a thing but what you can shortly offer me.
A fleetful kiss of confused bliss that holds to both our lips as our eyes search for a sign that says this action isn’t mine.
But all I find is signs that plague your mind that you must know I find as you hold my hands as close to your heart as you can and hold me as you think of your loss and belief that you’re doing what’s right and okay.
I must keep you away from my heart of ice for fear you might melt me and pull me close and tell me how much love you’ve felt for me.
I can’t explain why I dream of your intense touch that makes my head turn,
Heart burn,
Full of passion that can only be fulfilled by the slight dance of your beautiful brown eyes upon my slender thighs
As I intertwine my fingers through your hair to keep my connection to you at all times.
Such a need never before seen now it’s just you and me left to play out this scene.

I am the Girl Who Never Speaks

I am the dreamer that dreams of love at first glance,
Love at first dance.
I am the lover and the fighter,
The one everybody fears.
I go into a struggle for my love
And never once will you see tears.
I am a singer who hides her voice,
Being in my family,
I have no choice.
I am the dancer,
The one nobody sees.
My dancing is virtual,
It’s just me.
I am the poet,
The words set me free.
I’m moving so fast,
My pain is a sudden rush for me.
My words are my allies,
The way to escape.
It helps me be me but it’s still my free.
I am the giver,
The one who never gets.
The one who shares but no one ever sees or cares.
I’m the one who gives without thought,
The one who never gets not a thing.
With as much as I give,
Something should have been bought for me.
I am Twinisha,
The girl who never speaks.
I’m drowning in my words
But I’m still standing on my feet.
I am the walls,
The ones that listens,
The ones that don’t see.
The ones that I hate so much,
The ones that I can never beat.

Ode To De'Angelo

Dark brown skin
That shines in the sun.
Strong, deep dimples
That got to his soul.
Curly black hair that makes you
Wanna
Run your fingers through it.
Bright smile that makes you
Wanna
Grin just as hard and beautifully.
The words that he says
Makes
You want to see
What
Really goes on in his head.
You won’t find
Anything
That makes a woman mad.
Just those sweet thoughts that he puts out
Daily.
Strong words that
Pull
You to think harder.
Smart remarks that
Can
Have you smiling all day.
But serious thoughts that
Make
You wanna stay at home.
Silly remarks such as
“I’m in love with a giraffe.”
“Zebra’s fly in the sky and guess what color they are?
Pink!”
And of course the famous,
“My best friend is Twinisha Longhead.”
They can make you
Laugh
For hours on end.
A sweet edge that makes you
Wanna
Tell him your problems.
A gentle nature that makes you
Wanna
Tell him your secrets.
A comforting kind of voice that
Reminds
You of soothing baby sound
That can
Make
You wanna fall asleep.
But always the sensual undertone of something more.

She's Only... My Mother

She’s so blind,
Illusional,
Delusional,
Caught up in the moment.
She’s so lost,
taken,
mistaken,
for the caring person they think.
She need something,
Someone
Anything
To bring her back to reality.
She wants the weed
The drink
The nicotine,
To keep her going.
She’s leaving behind
Her love
Her kids
Her life
That she has created herself.
She’s not thinking
“they need me”
“it’s not them”
“ I cant do this”
she’s only
a teenager
a child
a mother.

Scrap Of Fabric

When the bitterness seeps from my voice,
Hanging to every word.
Warping and stretching the meaning,
Contorting my intentions into the truth of the matter which is my damaged heart.
What do you say to me?
Do you grab my hands and spurt out words that magically heal a tear on the fabric of my being and try to reassure me that words mean everything?
Put my trust in some funny phrases and memories that are just the easiest way to make my frown turn upside down and see a smile grace my face once again?
That is truly no way to win because when I’m left alone again,
All those thoughts will disappear and leave me with my own sadness,
Trying to find the perfect scrap of fabric that will mend that newly formed hole in my heart.
But maaaaaaan!
You don’t know that’s just a start.
My heart will survive with new things to use but what about my pride that’s finally been bruised?
Or maybe my sincere integrity that means the world to me that’s been shattered by someone else’s lies?
There’s so much more inside that has to be repaired from a single moment of undecided bliss,
That non-existant kiss that was given wings to soar and a beak to peck away the happiness I was finally able to get.
The tears that I shed were only met with cold unyielding lies that were spread around without asking me what’s really going down.
But I don’t cry from the pain you caused me,
Ripping me to shreds with your cynical words of pain and anger that were aimed right at my heart.
With these words,
You tore me apart and left me to myself,
Wallowing in the confusion that had sprang to life the moment you held my hand and asked me how I truly felt.
Now I sit amongst those many before me who fell from grace amongst our deceitful society that plays games upon a persons fate,
Rummaging through the things left behind,
The scraps to mend our broken wills and fucked up minds,
The pieces to rebuild a nation within that cant collapse because now we have a love- proof creation.
Yet now the times have changed and the damage does remain along with some extra pain that wont just go away from my mind because the effect of you transcends our short time and holds me in that moment of foreverness with you.
Somewhere with the real you that doesn’t allow me to cry at anytime,
The real you that holds me and looks into my eyes…
Just give me the scraps to repair my damaged heart that will heal on its own and be ready to love again,
Brand new,
Aside from the scrap of fabric that is you.