Like Always

And when that long awaited call comes through and the conversation hits a sour note, u wonder y u was waiting all day for it.
As if the fact that u were waiting for it made it a bad conversation.
And the aggravation of waiting for the call and frustration of it only being a call and not a moment together makes the tension high,
U more irritable.
And when u end the conversation before u really want to because of this mounted emotional state that you’re in,
U look at the phone as if it were it’s fault,
As if it had lost service or hung up on its own.
And then u thinks,
He’ll call back,
They always do.
And u sit here for a few minutes,
Glancing at the clock until a good 5 minutes pass and u realize that he truly is different because he hasn’t called back.
And he isn’t going to.
But u too damn proud to call urself and tell him wat really made u hang up the phone or maybe just a lie that will look better then the truth.
And then once again ur lost in ur own thoughts of this same boy,
The one that makes ur emotions act all at once and ruins something before it really gets started.
And those thoughts are the reason that u end up feeling like u are going to push away something that can be good and accept something that u kno is bad.
Like u always do.